Heroes aren’t born, they are made. Just like cowards aren’t born as cowards, they learn to become that way. With that you know you can become a hero and become better than average.

Throughout time we have seen Heroes saving people from burning fires, lifting cars when people are in danger and flying in tights on our cinema screens. We always see them battling villains head to head in combat on the battlefield.

It use to be that Heroes where the warrior type, going out into battle to defend their village from being under attack and generally being known for one thing: Courage. But in modern times we have a different story, the hero is much more complex as he embodies the warrior, the family man, the lone wolf and all other types of masculinity and ability which makes him a complete person.

How have things changed from the past to now you may wonder.

There is much more of a blur on where men stand these days, the gap seems to be closing in like a booby trap in an Indiana Jones movie, more people are confused on where they stand. Their energy levels are high; they are pumped after watching a seminar where a man wearing a shirt and tie done up so tight its a question how he can even talk, he is just shouting hyped up chants at them, damn that must feel good, after all they are excited and fulfilled, they must be the guy spoke ‘The Truth” after all.

Well that’s a lie; to some extent they are smiling like a crazy man and feeling energized but its much like caffeine, a temporary fix on their happiness drip. What they really need to know is what a driven life is and of course what person would I be if I didn’t tell you how to live it on a day-to-day basis.

Don’t worry we will get there, I promise.

There are three types of lives: The Prisoner, The Coward And The Hero (Leather Jacket doesn’t have to be included, however it does increase heroicness by 10%). The Hero lifestyle is something very little people lead, not because it’s impossible but somewhat because people don’t aim or think about what goes into achieving it, most are stuck in the Coward or Prisoner part of their life, but every true man will take the step forward in “The Heroes Journey”

So lets dig deep into these three:

The Prisoner

The prisoner is locked in their own “class case of emotion “ as Ron Burgundy would say, living in the expectations of others and being caught up in past mistakes and experiences, its something we see everyday with the 9-5 group, I don’t have anything against the people who work 9 till 5 what so ever, everyone needs money and everyone needs a life so I would be a dick to go against it, when you work a job you hate, you are your own criminal committing a crime against your life. This one thing stops you from breaking the boundaries and going on to your dreams.

Living in the past is a big No in my book, the past doesn’t define anyone, the people you hurt, the times you fail and even what you do in the bedroom doesn’t define what you are capable of. While we are told we need to live up to everyone’s expectations for a better life, we are blocking our own identity from being created. Conformity in our lifestyle is no longer popular for good reason; being scared to disappoint your peers is what stops you from going on to enjoying your dreams.

This is a caged life nowhere to move and just obedience to follow – its not what anyone should want or have to take.

The Three Ways Out From The Bars

  1. This happens by fate, something traumatic that breaks your comfortable life into reality, you realize you are living caged and need to go elsewhere.
  2. When we look past our bars, past the approval from others, you see there is more to life than others expectations. You consciously choose a new image, a new life and you fight to make it part of you.
  3. You build habits around your life that able you to overcome the fears that you have.

The Coward

This one is more common and less extreme, But, it can be worse.

Let me explain, most are living this life and it’s the closest step to changing, but its also the one most people are fine with but fine isn’t always a good thing.

It has cars, kids, a family and oh so sweet freedom. It’s a huge step up from being a prisoner; it feels comfortable as a bed and somewhat happy. But what would they say when someone asks about their life, “Oh, things are…you know…okay.”

Is this what I wanted?

Is this all there is?

Have I taken enough challenges?

Am I living someone else’s life?

The whole saying about “living in a rut” sums up this man up, he’s averagely normal with nothing exciting going on, no new skills being learned, doesn’t know his values and sure as hell doesn’t take risks. Life is simply a mystery of “How Did I End Up Here?”

The Prisoner and Coward are similar in that they both want more creative colour, freedom and connection; they both need to be The Hero.

The Hero

So what is a hero?

  1. A person with a strong body that looks powerful and resembles strength ?and a strong, wise and open mind. Performing Heroic acts within their life for others and themselves.
  2. A person who lives according to their?values and ambitions and doesn’t break these for conformity. A man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.

“He must put aside his pride, his virtue, beauty and life and bow or submit to the absolutely intolerable.” ? Joseph Campbell, The Hero With a Thousand Faces

Heroes aren’t discouraged or disengaged by the traps in life; they create their own path and are always architecting their own world. They change things; they learn things and they are always trying to create things. Ruts do exist but they get out of them, they have a plan of action and see the bigger picture and the progress they can make throughout their journey.

When controversy or hurt feeling happen along the way, they simply move on move on, they don’t worry about making waves, they do what’s right and what makes their and others surrounding thems lives more meaningful.

The Hero is not a getter, he is a giver!

This life is attainable, a coward and prisoner see it as being far out of reach for them, but trust me it really isn’t, that mind-set is what got them in trouble in the first place. To be hero you have to WANT to be one, to break the norms of what’s right and to see where you stand in the three lives.

Here are some ways to take on The Hero and start building the life you want today and always remember:

“The gratification comes in the doing, not in the results: – James Dean

1. Feel The Big Picture

There is so much going on and so much out there. Be optimistic about the future and what it has to offer you. Set goals and look at when you will achieve them, write this goal down on a post it and stick it on your walls, computers screens and fridges. Tell the world you are making a change, yes there will be some haters but they will fade and more lovers of your change will appear after all everyone likes a hero.

2. Seek A New Challenge

Most excitement in life comes from learning and challenging yourself. No I’m not talking about the impossible challenges that make you lose and feel a prisoner. The ones that help you branch out and create new meaning in life. Pick one new skill you can learn this for two months and go balls to the wall on it. It has now been shown that to create a habit it takes 2 months not 21 days, plus the longer you spent the better you’ll be and more you can brag about it.

3. Create Something

You aren’t the artistic type you say? Well let me tell you that everyone can be creative, in their job, home and life. I once was told by someone “You’re The Creative Type, You Can’t Be intelligent”, when did the two become binary opposites?

Think of that idea you have had in your head for a while and write it down. Mind map the possible ways it could be created and look at the starting point. Start from there and the snowball effect should happy.

The snowball effect is something I love so much, when you do one thing you just roll onto another and another, it is the fundamentals of everything I teach, start small and go big.

There you have it — Realize you want to change your life, break the norm and seek a challenge too create something meaningful. Becoming your own hero is a personal journey and one that everyone should take, to become the greatest version of yourself and create more out of your time on this earth is to help others and help yourself. Whatever you choose I still have mad love for you man.

What is the biggest challenge you have faced when wanting to change? Where do you yourself within the three lives? Let me know in the comments below

Dean Phillips is a writer, coach and Hero In Training. He teaches guys how to become their own heroes and build as big a life as possible. You can find more on his site or one facebook